Nicknames From Wellington Wharves

NICKNAMES OF THE WELLINGTON WATERFRONT by R J (George) Morris

The house of twisted faces that they call the Waterloo

And there isn’t any reason to doubt the apothegm is true

Most other pubs can claim a certain notoriety

But I think the Loo just beats them all for fraternity

Many a time I’ve drunk their health when they have shouted me

And many a time they have drunk mine too in reciprocity

At smokos, meal breaks, after five the imbibing still goes strong

As worker stop to quench their thirst and join the happy throng

When singing starts they sing off key and sometimes there’s a fight

But all in all a better crowd you’d find it hard to sight

1Their names are legend round the wharves where they all earned a crust

So come inside and meet them, It really is a must

There’s Just A Minute, Butter Box, Aunt Daisy and Skinny Too

Back at Six. The Chocker On, the Millionaire and Pooh, Green Hornet

Snuffy, Wife and I, Lion Tamer, Blue, The Sparrow, Gladys, Perfect Lover,

Red Band -there are two, Junior and Senior, the pride of the Waterloo.

Atomic Tom, the Tramper, Marmite, Bones and Shyte

The Staunchin, Silent Sufferer and not forgetting Cripes

Captain Pugwash, Praying Mantis, the Councillor and Stew

Cashmere Bouquet, Muscles, Polar Bear to mention a few

Boof Head, and the Ghost are there

Professor does his nightly stare, by hypnotising Noddy,

Who goes into a trance, it’s hard to tell who’s fooling who

But it’s all done just for laughs

Tea-Pot Joe is off the tea and drinking you know what

Hi-ho Silver and his dog are sipping whiskey tot’s

I’ll look into it, the mirror says as Spike Jones remonstrates

Until the raucous noises from Screaming Skull abates

The Scottish Soldiers humming a tune so soft and low

The northern lights of Aberdeen along with Home Boat Joe

The House Detective downs another

Watched with awe by one called Mother

Whitebait supervises the bar to keep it free from sin

The Happy Wonderer wanders in then wanders out again

The Dribbler is singing a song called Rose Marie

Coat Hanger sips another gin and smiles cryptically

While Taranaki sucks his pipe gazing complaisantly,

The Chief Justice sat only on big cases, that’s how he got his name

The Reluctant Fish won’t go near the hook, that’s how he gained his fame

No Bonus jack’s lamenting that the bonus is a shame

Fort Knox whose dentures are of gold Is smiling brilliantly

Submarine Joe has just submerged and quit the Company

Death Adder and Blind Seagull are in earnest conversation

But still find time to drink their grog with Happy approbation